Thursday, March 17, 2011

For Ryan

Do you remember your first love? For some reason, mine was on my mind all day yesterday. (thanks a lot Ryan ;) The person who you can't help but smile (or cry) when you think about them?  They are special to you and will always be because they taught you what I believe is the single most important feeling, love. When I thought about my fist love yesterday and all the great times we had (because who really remembers the bad even if there were a lot?).. I missed him. It was weird..I thought I had moved on and was over him, I mean, I had seen and felt love again after him, but then I realized something; no matter how over him I am he'll always be special to me. My heart no longer  aches for him like it used to but I think it's ok to miss him sometimes.  Let's face it, when the love ends your heart breaks a little -I don't care what you say, it's true. Sometimes it takes a few days to repair and sometimes a year..or two..or twenty. But eventually the hole will get smaller and smaller until it is fully healed. Sometimes that hole is "healed" by having someone else fill it for you (rebound?) but the only thing that really heals your heart is time. So be patient. When your heart is healed I don't think that means that your lovers name will not bring you some sort of emotion, I think when your heart is healed it means your heart will not completely ache when you hear their name."Is it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?" Heck yes it is! I learned a lot from my first love and am grateful for him. I'm also so grateful for the one I love now.

Speaking of love, I loved last night. After a rough day I had the most relaxing night. First, I got to go to dinner with my best friend that I hadn't seen in way to long. Then when I came home I took a hot shower, painted my nails, plucked my eyebrows, and lit a yummy smelling candle. All while listening to this wonderful singer:

I love Iron & Wine. If you need some relaxing music check him out. One of his songs was featured in "Twilight", just in case you were wondering.:-)


  1. you know i feel so honored and pleased. i love this post. first loves are just that, first loves.

  2. oh kenz!!! i LOVED this post! i TOTALLY know the feeling... first loves stick with you forever.. you will tell your kids about them! it is your first and last love that are most important! they are the ones that teach you the most about yourself and about the art of love! and you know what i LOVE you kenz!!! this is beautiful! a slight tear :)